Falling in love is a great thing, an experience out of this world that can’t be defined by human language, because it is divine. Everyone wants someone they can be identified with, that special person who is your confidant but it is not always all roses or gold in a relationship, It is Rocky, it’s Hard, It’s Bumpy, It’s full of ups and downs that a times one knocks a dead end and calls it quit.
Most often one partner ignores their partner’s feelings on some issues raised thinking that the issues are too petty or minor to pay attention to or to try solve them, which escalates to bigger problems, he/she decides enough is enough and gives up trying too hard for the relationship to work.That’s how most coveted & admired relationships end.
Some relationships aren’t made to last forever, but how can you tell that you are falling out of love? These common but Big reasons will help you rekindle the flame in your relationship or let it burn.
1. When Communication is no longer Mandatory but Obligatory.
Typically when we are in love we wanna talk about everything and know everything about our partner, even when apart we still try our best to be connected with our partners in whichever way possible through phones and other social media platforms to continue bonding and growing our relationship stronger. We wanna share every detail of our day happenings even when we are apart still feels like we’ve literally spent the whole day together because of active communication throughout. continuous communication with our partner make us feel appreciated, loved and wanted.
But when passion, intimacy and desire for each other fades away communication becomes such a difficult thing that one feel pressured or offended when asked of the same. We start going hours and hours without communicating with our partner and still feels OK. In most cases only one partner reaches out more than the other which gets boring with time. And when they communicate it feels obligatory and not because the want to. Before you know it, you have nothing to talk about in common.
2. You no longer spend time together.
Everything is built through time, great buildings, company, features, friendship, love etc someone put a considerate amount of time into them to look as exciting and interesting as they do – If Bill Gates didn’t put time in his innovation we won’t have Microsoft today. Same applies to relationships if you don’t spend time together you definitely loosing touch with each other, the passion, the bonding and intimacy fades away. Soon we find ourselves spending more time with our friends and other people more than our partners, and when you’ve spent just like 5 mins together we feel like we’ve spent more than 5 hours together, we just one step out of the house and go be with other people or run unplanned errands and sometimes one gets too attached to social media – before you know it we become perfect strangers to our partner.
The only solution is; PUT TIME INTO IT.
3. Change of Habits and Priorities.
Priorities change in life but if the priorities conflicts with our partner’s desires then the relationship is at risk.Also when your partner ceases to be a priority in your life that should raise your eyebrow. Same to habits either change of habits or growing of habits that are in conflict to our partners desires then there’s bound to be unending conflict between us which will definitely lead to us falling apart. Somethings if they are less important than the love we share with our partner then dropping them should be best but if we think the habits or priorities are more important then we’ll soon lose the love our lives. e.g suddenly one partner starts consuming heavily drugs and the other partner is troubled by it, one partner starts drinking heavily and you are not comfortable with it, one partner start spending all nights in the club, one partner misuses finances etc.
4. You Feel Lonely.
We all crave for love and connection, and when it’s not there we feel lonely even when we are in a relationship. When you feel attracted to another person physically that’s when reality knocks in, You are not happy in your current relationship, something is missing. When you are in a committed loving relationship there’s no room for loneliness.
5. Low Tolerance
Anything small snaps us up, we get so angry and pissed of with our partner’s fault/error very fast yet we used to be so patient, forgiving and understanding with each other such that we couldn’t go to bed before solving our problem. We quickly forgave and moved beyond the error soonest.
When you are falling out of love, we quickly hasten to criticize, one partner exaggerate irritation behavior, holds on to the faults way too long, one partner sees explanation as frustration,suddenly you argue to argue more without finding solution best to move forward,then future hopes and plans are no longer believed in. Things just keeps getting worse.
6. You no longer care about problems affecting the relationship.(unresolved conflicts become common)
Initially one partner used to push towards solving the problems but when it reaches appoint that the partner is no longer bothered or feels the need to solve a problem then the relationship is leading to a dead end. We start assuming problems in our relationship and often leave the problems unresolved.
7. Love Isn’t The Main Reason You Are In That Relationship.
If we are in the relationship because of our partner’s financial stability, we can’t fund ourselves, because our partner promised marriage or because of a baby (baby mama/baby father) then it is dead already. Be in a relationship because we are in love and purely loved and cared for by our partners.
8. Loss Of Nurturing
Just as water young plant/flower daily for it to grow same applies to a young relationship. There are something we need to do to nurture the young relationship, it’s like caring for a child. We just have to put our needs aside and focus totally on the young relationship. here are but a few ways to nurture a young relationship; talk more, watch less TV or social media, go for gateways together, share hobbies, dreams and goals etc.
9. Intimacy and affection diminishes
“When love is new, physical affection and caring emotional expressions happen regularly. Lovers caress each other often and are rarely apart for long without missing each other’s touch. It is as if they are one heart, one soul, and one body. What one feels, the other knows, by touch, facial expression, voice caresses, and welcoming body language.” as huffington puts it but when love ain’t there anymore all that diminishes.
10. When Lies Become Often
We always think that our partner won’t know if he/she is being lied to when we lie about our whereabouts, friends, family, work, where we are etc. but the what we don’t know is that the heart really knows how to sieve the truth from lies especially when it comes to people who are in love. We always know when someone is lying to and many times we choose to ignore instead of confronting lies. No trust is built on lies, it’s is always built on nothing but complete truth. When our partners start lying that puts our relationship in jeopardy.
We all want our love to last forever, lets not let the aforementioned habits/character ruin our relationship. Love, care and be at your best with your partner. But if you sure there’s no future, it’s hard but just say GOODBYE. We all deserve someone who appreciate ans wanna be with us to love, cherish, care, and grow old together.
What are other common reasons that are telltale signs that you are falling out of love? Comment below.
NB: I decided to diversify my blog and I’m so happy to have finished my very first article on love and sex, damn!! it has taken me hours but it’s worth it. Look forward for more exciting articles on love & sex here.
Thanks for stopping by,