Whether you are celibate or not, as long as you are getting into a relationship with a new partner, before you get all cozy, touchy, comfortable and wanna get below the sheets, there are some key unavoidable sex things you need to discuss with your new partner. They are mandatory for you health sake, future planning and also to avoid that awkward moment in bed when you do something that your partner isn’t totally comfortable with or turns him/her totally off .
“O I can’t talk about sex with him/her because I’m shy.” O please, Shyness should not be an excuse to risk it all #yourhealth, just throw it out there and get to know your new partner sex life well. It’s way so much safer.
So here are sex topics to talk about with your new partner.
1. Sex likes, dislikes,fetishes and fantasies. Get to know what your partner like an doesn’t like. what he/she desires to experience or something new he/she might want to engage in so that you just not surprise him or her in bed then ruin it all. where will she/he like to have it #fetish e.g in the car, garage, etc.
2. Sex History. any history of STD’s, sexual partners he/she has had before, any previous sex partner that you know of? Has she/he been tested for HIV, what is his/her HIV status etc. Don’t assume that someone is OK just by his/her appearance, religion, believes extra.
3. Safe sex and Birth Control (contraceptives): What is his take in using condoms or her take on using contraceptive. This is important because some women are allergic to latex,some women are so much affected with contraceptives, some men don’t like using condoms, others like and so on. You need too know what’s good for both of you.
4. Sexual Secrets. has she/he been abused or abuse another person before sexually? does he/she masturbates when alone? has she/he faced a sexual trauma before? has she/he engaged before in same sex #homo? just truthfully say everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. It is good to start a relationship on a clean page.
5.Frequency of having sex. how many times in a week/month does she/he wanna have sex. You might not stick to the number your partner has said because sometimes you just naturally wanna have it despite the fact you had it at night and in the morning, but it’s so good to know how frequent your partner wanna have it.
6. Sexual health: does you new partner has any health condition that might affect his/her sex performance in bed? example endometriosis which is a sexual condition that affects some women and make them not wanna have sex, dyspareunia (painful sexual intercourse), erectile dysfunction which affects me etc. Your new partner should seek medical attention right away or if he/he is undergoing treatment the better.
Remember to answer truthfully the sexual questions for your health sake and that of your new partner. You don’t wanna get any weird surprises after you have taken things to another level.
After knowing his/her sex life, if you are comfortable, great, if not best luck in finding another.