Why are women afraid to share their struggles about motherhood? What’s the unsaid About Motherhood? Why are most women struggling with pre& post partum depression without being aware of it?
“Becoming a mum can be the most exciting & the most exhausting adventure. You can only enjoy when you are fully prepared mentally.” said Hamida the Psychologist.
I was privileged to attend the Supamamas event in conjunction with Pampers premium care launch on Saturday at prideinn raphta Road. Supamamas seeks to help mothers in becoming/ being a mum through providing various platforms where experts & counselors provide solutions on the daily motherhood challenges. So I looked around and they all seemed happy to be/become mothers. But when they opened their mouths and let us in to the daily struggles #reality during the questions sessions I was so dumbfounded.
When becoming a mum, no one tells you about how you’ll go for days with messy hair, unkept nails, dirty loins, spend sleepless nights, your home will never be quiet, your house will be messy and covered with toys allover, that it will be difficult to take a shower nor relieve yourself alone in peace because kid/s will be banging on the bathroom door like SWAT..that you’ll always be tired, you’ll have to plan for a mere grocery shopping trip, you’ll have stomachaches, backaches, headaches, heartaches, you’ll never be alone in your thoughts, you’ll have to prioritize your baby/s in all your thoughts and decisions in life. To top it all you are supposed to love every bit of it.
If you happen to have a strong support system of your better half #partner then by all means you are in a better position not to become physically and emotionally drained but to those who are single mothers it’s ‘twice the work, twice the stress & twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride.
So how do you avoid sinking into whining, postpartum depression and draining yourself both physically and mentally??
It all boils down to Selfcare both physically and mentally. No it’s not being selfish, it’s loving yourself, it’s giving your baby/s the best of you instead of what is left of you because you’ll be able to serve and raise them well from the point of overflow and not an empty vessel.
So how do you go about your Selfcare?
- Mums wellness is very important.Take time everyday at least 1hr minimum to focus on yourself. Take a long clean deep shower, go to the spa, make your hair, make your nails, take your favorite book and read it, listen to inspiration & motivational podcasts, watch a movie, meet up with friends, go swimming, exercise etc. Basically unwind, relax, rejuvenate yourself, replenish your heart, revive you and love you. No its not about being selfish its about self care and love.
- There is no wellbeing without mental health. Take a pause, take care of yourself to avoid sinking into depression. Anxiety, fears, fatigue, stress will drain you if you don’t take time off on yourself. Find ways to relax.
- We as moms must check our emotions and be very careful at how we talk to our children.We must be intentional about incorporating words of affirmation to each of our children and please lets stop comparing our kids…each of them is gifted differently. ” by Afandi Lung’aho on her take home at Supamamas event
- Postpartum depression is real. Don’t be shy to Seek help. Seeking help is giving yourself a chance to give the best version of you to your kid/s & your partner.
- Find/build a great support system around you. Be it your mum, your partner, your friends, tell them whenever you need help. let them in into your feelings & emotions both physically and mentally that way they’ll be in a position to know how best to help.
- Ask, ask and ask more questions whenever you are in uncertainty. Don’t be afraid to speak out or share with other mums. Pout out your heart.
- Don’t let people or family invade your mind with crazy baby upbringing traditions or heresays on what to do and what not to do. All babies are unique and there’s no one sure formula of raising a kid. Do it your way. Know what to swallow and what to spat out in all the advices given to you.
- Have an affirmative NO whenever you are taking a rest or time for your ownself to your relatives, friends or people wanting to invade that privacy or me-time .
- In motherhood, everyday is an opportunity to learn something. There’s no point where you’ll say you’ve got it all figured out 100 %. Mistakes doesn’t make you a bad mum, they give you a chance to better yourself; embrace them wisely.
- Take time to bond with your kid. Your househelp is not your baby’s mother but you are.
- Remember you can only serve from the point of overflow and not an empty vessel. It’s in loving yourself to the point of overflow that you’ll ooze out the love to your kid/s and your partner.
After listening and learning about motherhood throughout the Supamamas event. I firmly say ;
Self-care both physically, mentally and socially is NOT being Selfish. It’s positioning yourself to better serve, care and love your baby/s. It’s the wellbeing. It’s better health. It’s best version of yourself.
Don’t be afraid to share, voice out your concerns, seek help, love yourself, take time out, take care of yourself and be the best mum to your beloved.
At the end of the day when our children grows up they won’t remember how clumsy your were, your messy hair, messy house, tired days, sleepless nights but they’ll only remember the time you spent together and the love they felt. That’s the beauty of motherhood. Give it your best.
Follow Supamamas, toto touch, pampers and nurturing mums for mommy tips and to know when they plan for such healthy informative events to attend. Within 2 hours they fully equipped me and made me feel so prepared both physically and mentally for Motherhood. I’m thankful.
What are your struggles as a mum or pregnant woman? Have you overcomed them? How did you overcome them? Let’s share in the comment box below and help each other.
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